You know, the simple fact of the matter is that sometimes nothing happens for a couple of weeks. That isn’t to say that there aren’t events and releases. It’s certainly not to say that there aren’t pieces being moved around behind the scenes. Somewhere out there, people are doing their best and it’s resulting in slow and steady progress more often than not. 

But without any openings or closures, it does sort of make for a quiet column. Where’s the intrigue? Where’s the pathos and human drama? Fact is it’s too nice out for that stuff. There aren’t even new manufacturer licenses listed on the AGCO database. 

For that reason we’re going to skip directly to:

EVENTS

There are a lot of great events coming up over the next couple of weeks, although the calendar is a little bit back loaded. 

In Oro-Medonte, Quayle’s has their spring market featuring over a hundred vendors during the two day event, and it’s just in time to see the hop shoots emerge sheepishly from below the trellis. Stop by, pick up some swag, and tell that Triple Perle to get on with it. 

At Indie Alehouse’s production facility open house in South Etobicoke, you’ve got the opportunity on May 5th to go and see where the cellar people live. Their unique culture is based on a barter system consisting largely of low fills and trying not to think about barrels. Also, Matt Bod from Slowpoke Food Project will be delighting everyone with barbeque pork and hoe cakes. Try it with the returning Prairie Coast Blood Orange Witbier.

This year, Cinco de Mayo is pretty sparsely celebrated in Ontario, which makes a lot of sense when you consider we never really had Juaristas in the province. That said, Walkerville Brewing in Windsor is celebrating with a two day themed menu and their returning Cinco Cerveza. 

Next weekend sees beer festivals in Durham, Parry Sound, and Bayfield, on the off chance that you were looking to get out of the house. If you want to get around beautiful, scenic downtown Guelph, it also marks the return of the Guelph Beer Bus, which we covered last year.

Check the calendar and find something fun to do. 

THE SIX PACK

Like I alluded to earlier, there’s not really a huge number of Cinco de Mayo Cervezas out there; a fact that I attribute to the increased popularity of Mexican style lagers out there in the larger world. This is just as well since it saves you having to find a lime and your tajin rimmer. I found six beers that look interesting and I’d like to share them with you. 

WHIPRSNAPR UNFILTERED PROJECT

You know, somewhere between Grogu and Ahsoka, there’s an argument to be made that Star Wars may have over expanded their universe. At Whiprsnapr, they’re respectful of canon, and that means that their Unfiltered Project is celebrating the third trilogy which… look, let’s just hope they’re not milking anything. While there are four releases for May the Fourth, why not

try #218, which is entitled Crait DIPA. The label features Kylo Ren and Luke Skywalker and somewhere in the background you can see John Boyega doing his best with a tacked-on love interest B story. Notes of Galaxy with just a dash of Rendar. 

(ed note: It’s hard to Wedge all these references in.)

BLOOD BROTHERS BEAR WORSHIP

Do you secretly worry that beer by itself isn’t sophisticated enough? Do you have to go to a baby shower or housewarming or dinner party with people who have opinions about not only grape varietals, but (god help us), vintages? Do you think those hoity-toity oenophiles will put you in the oh no file? Well, Blood Brothers have created a barrel aged wild ale with Gamay grapes that will allow you to really demonstrate your knowledge that at least one type of grape exists. Stop worrying so much, pal. They probably like you for you. 

SHAWN & ED SALTED LIME CERVEZA

Shawn and Ed tell me that this is a pale cerveza with a touch of lime citrus and a soft salt finish. The citrus catches you first in the nose followed by a burst of lime in the finish. The base beer is our low-carb lager which is light and easy drinking. Is it a Gose? Not in name. What’s in a name? A Gose by any other name would smell as salty. That would have gone a lot smoother if Shakespeare had been from Leipzig. 

BENCH SECRETS OF THE STAGHORN

There are lots of ingredients in Ontario that we can turn into beer: Maple sap. Spruce tips. Staghorn Sumac. Sumac is a great candidate for its ascorbic acidity and bright lemony flavour. The brewers at Bench have been out harvesting drupes and have blended them with Barrel Aged Golden Ale from their coolship program. I guess that makes them brewers drupes. The label even features a stag. This seems familiar for some reason. 

STEADFAST CACTUS JUICE

Listen, sometimes I’m not including beers just to set up punchlines. I had a prickly pear beer made by Amsterdam Brewing a while ago and I legitimately think it’s a really interesting ingredient. Steadfast makes some pretty good beers but they don’t get a lot of attention. I think this one should be a corker. 

STORM STAYED PET SOUNDS AMERICAN LAGER

God only knows what I’d do for these lists if there weren’t charity beers to promote. In this case, Storm Stayed is here today to promote Vets Without Borders. While they’ve already helped to raise over $10,000, wouldn’t it be nice to add to that total? Well, a portion of the proceeds from every can help provide a brighter future for pets everywhere. Plus, it’s a quenching American lager you can enjoy anywhere. On a boat. In a sandbox. Wherever!

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